In Memoriam

So John and I went to Logan for Memorial Day. Obviously anyone who has kept up with us in the last year or so knows why we chose to make the 5 hour drive (each way, gag) for a three day weekend. We hadn't seen Leland's headstone yet, so we really wanted to do that.



It also occurred to me that today is exactly 4 months since Leland was born. Happy Birthday little man! I miss my little bud so much. On days like this I just wish I could have got to know him, I'm sad I can't tell stories like, 'Oh Leland did the craziest thing'... but I don't regret my beautiful boy, and lest I feel bitter I must admit that I did get to know the following that I would never have known had we chose not to carry to term:



In utero Leland wasn't a big fan of letting daddy put his arm around me. He'd start to kick at John's arm like CRAZY. We decided he was either very selfish where his mommy was concerned and didn't want to share, or he just had personal space issues.

Leland also seemed bound and determined to make the Dr's work a little harder, put the ultrasound wand up to my stomach and you'd see a black and white wavy thing start to move and shake like there were ants in his pants (had he been wearing any pants - how funny would that be?). Dr. Sanders would say, 'This kid will NOT stay still for a second!' And you could tell at first the Dr. thought it was funny, but then he started to actually get really frustrated. Ha! Go Leland!

One morning just before he was born, the poor little kid got a raging case of hiccups that made his daddy wake up and say, 'did you do that?!' (Make my stomach twitch? Yeah, I do that all the time... it's a talent.)

I don't think he liked seafood, because while he was being hatched if his mommy even looked at pictures of seafood (especially shellfish) on menus she'd start to dry heave.

Leland was super strong. As soon as you get a diagnosis of Trisomy 18, every Dr. and specialist you see will beat you over the head with the fact that your child probably won't even make it to term. I guess the point is to keep you realistic. But cute little Leland made it - he even survived a traditional delivery - which to me sounds vaguely like some disturbing form of torture. Ok, not even vaguely, that is just an insane way to come in to the world. What sort of welcome is that?

He had a cute little squawk for a cry, like a little bird.

He had curly brown hair. (Just what I always said I wanted!!!)

He had perfect tiny little hands. The trisomy definitely caused some physical problems, but his hands couldn't have been more perfect, and they looked graceful and beautiful. (Not sure where he got those from, not mommy!)

He definitely had his daddy's lips! Ask anyone who was there, one of my first comments was, 'he's got Heywood lips!'

HAPPY 4 MONTH ANGEL DAY LELAND!!! MOMMY AND DADDY LOVE YOU!!!