So Here's the Deal...

(I wanted to show a picture of our bean, but my scanner isn't plugged in and that was all the resistance it took for me to throw the idea out.)

After what were nearly the longest 10 (and a half, haha) weeks of my life, I'm pleased to announce we are 15 weeks prego!  I don't think it will come as a big shock to anyone, seeing as Charlie is 3 in December and we were likely going to have more than one kid (at home).  We're due April 4th, and we will have an ultrasound on November 15 to (hopefully) find out if it's a boy or a girl. (Place your bets, I think it's a boy, Charlie and John say girl.)

I know it's not really politically correct and you're just supposed to suck it up and not say too many bad things out loud, just to close girl friends in confidence as it's a miracle and all, but because I'm a whiner, I will now elaborate on about the longest 10 weeks of my life.  Unfortunately I don't journal, so anything I do remember about anything in detail usually comes from my poorly kept blog, bad as that may be.  However I feel like I want to prelude this with two warnings...

*If you struggle with infertility, this may not be a blog post you want to read.  I am about to whine and vent about one of life's biggest blessings, one many women would do about anything for... I am not ignorant of that fact.  I am blessed to have the physical ability to create babies, it's not lost on me... however, be that as it may I'm still about to complain a lot and I feel like that may hurt some people, and if you're in that boat I'd urge you not to read on and do that to yourself!*

*This post may cross the line into the TMI category if you're at all squeamish about pregnancy (mostly puking and the like), then maybe this is also not the post for you... I don't feel like it's graphic, but sometimes people have a low tolerance for this sorta thing.*

I appear to be very very lucky in certain ways when it comes to having babies, that we've actually never 'tried' to have a baby.  Our first two were first day off birth control type pregnancies, so this time around we figured we should really 'decide' (very approximately of course) when we wanted the baby to get here, not just randomly stop birth control!  In other words, no more December babies (cuz seriously, that's a hard month to have your b-day as a kid, and the newborn through the Utah winter is a bit scarey) and I also thought it would be ideal to not be prego during hot summer months, etc.  So we essentially talked all the ins and outs and decided to go for the, 'as ideal as being prego can be', timing and see what happened.  We were hoping for an April/May arrival, thus being really prego through cold months and the baby arriving as the warm weather came on...  Well our 'first day off birth control' approach was true to form!  I am a completely consistent 28 day (almost to a specific hour) "cycler" so I have always 'known' I was pregnant like later that day of my missed period.  We checked the dates online, and it was April 4th.  (Dr. later confirmed w/ ultrasound measuring, etc, but we didn't need it really.)  Now the last two times I was pregnant, I knew I was and it was exciting and I didn't start feeling any symptoms till late week 6, early week 7.  With this pregnancy I was slightly shy of 5 weeks pregnant when I began to feel it.  I was shocked and very scared about this omen, because my previous two pregnancies have involved soooo much nausea, tiredness and puking, that it had already given me a pit in my stomach to even consider getting pregnant again with that experience still to vivid in my mind.  But I kept hearing that 'each pregnancy is different' so I thought that there was maybe, just maybe, some hope that this time I wouldn't feel so awful!  Well each pregnancy might be different, but this one has most DEFINITELY been even WORSE!  I guess I didn't account for that possibility - or didn't think there was much worse it could get!  WRONG!

So immediately (4 1/2 weeks in) I felt drained, and all time like I was walking through water or wearing a weight vest to do anything... held down, winded.  And I started to get that queasy feeling at the sight and smell of food - no food sounded very good.  A week, week and a half after that I was in full blown 'this could be the serious, worst flu' mode.  I felt like I was going to pass out when I so much as lifted myself out of bed... From the moment I woke up my body felt the way it normally feels if I'm terribly ill, or like when you've had a really long day and are finally falling in to bed in the wee hours.  Like there's nothing left inside you to move you places.  Food was a nightmare, I had to eat it and didn't want to, made me sick to look at food, definitely couldn't grocery shop, but if I avoided it like I wanted to I paid the price.  Anything I ate once, even if I felt okay going down the first time, suddenly got added to the list of things that made me sick to simply think about for the future... saltines, ginger-ale, cereal, ice cream, etc all made the list.  The biggest problem was that water, or even just waterish items (gatorade, juice, soda) were my new worst enemy.  Especially water, but even a lot of times juice or whatever would make me puke almost instantly - I figured I was puking in the neighborhood of 10-12 times a day during my worst weeks.  Which led to dehydration, which led to me having about a full two day period where I couldn't think of any food or drinks I'd actually kept down.  Nothing in the tank, literally nothing.  I was thinking that was a bad thing for the both of us so I finally called the nurse - I hate taking meds when I'm prego, even if they 'say' they're safe, I feel so guilty.  She told me to get on the 1/2 tablet of unisom and 25 mg of B6 right away.  She also felt hesitant and worried that I needed to get in to the hospital for some IV therapy because of dehydration.  I was supposed to call if I didn't keep anything down in the following 24 hours.  But fortunately that drug cocktail actually kept me from puking, well at least 90% less puking.  The downside was that I still felt just as nauseous and I just felt even more tired.  In addition to the body fatigue my brain was in a fog. I kept on in this way for awhile until I had my meeting with the nurse... I was doing pretty good at that time, felt like crap, but small amounts of food got down, but she was still concerned about the drinking issues.  I told her I'd call if it didn't improve.  The next week it got worse again (mooooorrrreeeee puking, fun fun) for no apparent reason so when I met with my Dr (week 10) by this time even though there were some improvements I'd lost like 12 pounds, still struggled with liquids and she decided I should change to the Zofran.  This helped the most. I actually felt the brain fog lift and felt actually hungry on occasions (though I still didn't think anything in particular sounded good)... a lot of the nausea was gone which felt like heaven, meaning I didn't feel nauseous every SINGLE moment just now and again throughout the day which felt like a win to me at that point.

Feeling dead sick and tired every second of every day for like 5 straight weeks (5-10) takes a toll on your sanity.  I was talking with John around week 9 and I said trying to pump myself up, 'best case scenario I might start feeling better in like 4 weeks' and then I just BURST INTO TEARS and said, "I can't, I can't do it!"  Clearly there weren't other options, but I did ask if it was possible for them to put me into a medically induced coma and wake me up when it was over.

The few weeks after the Zofran I at least saw strides toward sanity, the insane amounts of fatigue were gone, and I didn't feel as exhausted constantly.  I didn't feel sick every second, but just randomly - again usually if I've waited too long to eat, or I catch a wiff of something bad, or someone mentions that one common kind of meat that comes from farm birds (Shhhh).  I didn't wanna eat things, but some things at least didn't gross me out and make me sick just to think about.  I still have trouble with water.... which of course is ALL I want to drink... all the sugary additives are so sick and all I want is nice clear cool water... but unless I'm feeling amazing AND have a full stomach it's a sure way to puke to drink water.  Which has been making it still hard to get to the gym...  The other week I wanted to go and did and felt okay (still feels like I'm wearing around 50 extra pounds at the gym, so that's hard), but anyway, after I was thirsty, I desperately craved and drank some water, it started turning my stomach, by the time I got home I was running for the toilet.

Also, really really really bad constipation (I know, TMI) but I suppose that's what you get for being kinda dehydrated.

Most currently the weirdest thing is EVERYTHING seems to go rotten in my mouth (it's disgusting and doesn't help nausea) but most commonly and strongly sugary stuff and dairy, that happens in about 60 seconds after eating something sugary (and I don't just mean processed sugars... apples, oranges, grapes do it just as bad.)  I am walking around with permanent halitosis and it's gross.

THE GOOD PARTS (I really have tried to keep these in mind, but with limited sanity it's just really hard...whether that's awful or not.):

• Where it's easing up a bit I'm hoping that I'm on schedule for feeling a lot better at 20 weeks which is what happened with the first two, and not being one of those crazy unlucky few who puke the ENTIRE pregnancy.
• The baby is on track and seems healthy!
• They did a Nucal Trans ultrasound like we did with Charlie measuring the babies 'neck fluid' and it was again small (they have found babies with chromosome problems tend to have more fluid back there then chromosomal-y average babies), which is excellent.
• They also did first trimester blood work screening for T18, T21, Spina Biffida, etc and I got extremely low risk factors for all those.
• Evidently babies are extremely parasitic creatures, so they can thrive in hostile environments like mine.
• And best of all, we will hopefully be adding another (and let's face it, I'm thinking final) little one to our family in early April! :)

A Day at the Zoo

A little update.  Then I wanna post some NYC trip info and pics... but basically anymore I just keep my 'charlie' updates on here, haha:

Charlie is now 2 years and 4 months old.  When we last went to the Dr. just after his 2nd birthday he was 30 lbs(75%) and 3 feet .5 inches (85%).  He's getting so challenging and so rewarding.  He gives hugs & kisses one minute, then hits ya the next!  One minute he's singing in the car, then next he's throwing a tantrum because his toy isn't behaving like he wants.  I think they're so DARN cute at 2 for a reason.  So they live! :)  He LOVES pancakes, "cake-cakes", and he thinks they magically appear from the box and is always looking in the pancake mix box for some "cake cakes".  Also digs popcorn, "cot-carn" and has been known to have it used as incentives to quit throwing some tantrum or another.  He knows all his animals, colors, numbers and how to count, and all his letters.  We weren't really 'trying' to teach him these things, he just had some toys and bedtime books that taught him and one day we realized he knew all his numbers and colors and a bunch of letters - then all the letters.  If he'll cooperate it's a fun party trick.  Just the last month has brought a whole new level of talking.  It's not a few words we recognize with jibberish in between it's 3-4 word sentences with jibberish in between.  He loves to sing songs, we broke down and put one of those SUPER annoying kiddie tunes cd's in the car because he thinks they rock. He loves to be outside, we just bought a jungle gym because I knew I wouldn't survive the summer without one.  He gets too cooped up and loves slides and swings, etc.  He still likes his Yo Gabba Gabba toys, but doesn't ask for the show very often.  I brought him home a woody and bullseye from NYC and he loves them to bits. He loves Madagascar now, and is back on a real Toy Story kick.  He loves to ride in his power wheel, but won't use the steering wheel, haha, he just drives it straight and mom and dad run after him.  He loves to see pictures and videos of himself, it's a good way to keep him entertained some days!  He loves to play on the dirt hills next door to us, they're like his everest.  And he likes to throw rocks in the gutter.  He is so cute! :)


John and I have been doing house projects.  It's always something, lately it's been a slate patio, and now it's going to be assembling a big jungle gym. 

John's been riding his bike a lot and loves that.  I started going to a gym called Crossfit.  If you know anything about it, it's basically a little boot camp style, they do high intensity for short periods of time, and give you specific work outs to complete each day.  For example, yesterday we did burpees (lay down flat on your stomach on the ground, then stand up and jump/clap, then repeat) and kettlebell swings, alternating between the two in sets of 2-4-6-8- etc as many as you can for 12 mins.  Today we did sets of jump roping and sumo dead lifts, and it was written out and you see how fast you can possibly finish.  Typically you are literally speechless and dying at the end.  But it feels good in a weird way.  :)

We went to Willow Park the other day, and Charlie seriously loved it.  I've already decided we have to do Hoggle Zoo this summer... because Charlie just loves the animals, and totally ran from exhibit to exhibit just at little a little zoo.  Can't imagine how stoked he'd be to see the big ones!

A Day in our Life

So I very, very often get the comment: "You must have the best pictures of your kid." I always have a little twinge of guilt when people say this, because in THEORY I have a great skill set for getting nice pictures of my kid all the time.... buuuuuttttt.... more often than not I'm there like every other mom snapping a pic with my camera phone.
There's many reasons/excuses for this just a few I feel compelled to use now... 1) My camera can not break in an accident, therefore it is diligently stored away from rambunctious toddlers... I work with my camera and I have bookings coming up, and yes, I have a back up camera for my weddings etc... but the whole point of a backup camera is to have a WORKING backup camera AT the event should something happen to the first. So I need both, in working order, at my weddings. SO, it's stored away, and out of site, out of mind!! When it's packed away it just doesn't come out like it should. 2) Just like every other mother of a small child, there seems to never be enough hands to wrangle kids and carry their 'gear' haha... if I don't have backup (dad), the last thing I think about is getting another fragile, fairly large and pretty heavy piece of equipment out to go somewhere.

So pretty much like every parent anywhere, my camera seems to come out in obvious situations, special occasions, pre-planned family portraits, etc. Otherwise, it's the good ole camera phone for us! haha. Every now and again I get a pang of guilt and dress charlie up and take him outside to shoot a few. He's usually non-compliant and running around like a crazy, just like every toddler ever (photo moms should get model children, don't you think? ones with endless patience and natural camera ease... nay not so) and so it doesn't always end well.

So these 'Day in the Life' shoots I have seen all over, and I decided one day that I needed to do it. Just 'everyday art'... not stuffing charlie into over the top outfits and heading off to fun locations with perfect hair and a freshly wiped nose. Just us, doing random, natural (read boring), daily activities that really will be so fun to remember when Charlie is all grown and we don't have a morning cereal routine. So I did a bit of it one day and here is the finished project... and I need to remember to do this again...

(natural means no photoshop for momma... arg, I look so old!)

My Bitty Baby is 2!?!

I have Christmas Pics. But Let's start here. I just wrote my little 'birthday tribute' to Charlie that I hope to keep up at least once a year as my kids grow, so I thought I'd post it, and I also figure, may as well post the party pics too..... so, GO!

• Talk about a recent growth spurt! All his pants just turned into floods overnight!
• Such a sweet boy, if you say 'soft' or 'gentle' with a baby or animal he very gently pats their head. If he knows he's done something naughty he runs right up to smooth it over with a hug and a kiss (a little manipulative I think!).
• He LOVES to draw and color and could sit for 30 minutes straight doodling on paper. He also wants mom and dad to draw with him, and he always wants them to draw, Muno, Foofa, Brobee, Toodee and Plex.
• He still loves Yo Gabba Gabba, especially all his toys, he always wants all his toys with him at the same time. He got little bath squirts for Christmas that are the heads of the 'Gabba Gang', and it's not good enough to have just one or two, he has to haul around all five Characters and always knows if someone is missing and freaks out!
• Charlie talks so much and so much of it you can understand. If you say, 'say ---' he can repeat back to you most simple words.
• He always goes to sleep with his blanket and a couple stuffed animals, mostly his Brobee and Muno beanies. He is an amazing sleeper, he doesn't even try to get out of his crib actually, he just lays on his back and plays with his 'babies' till he's tired and falls asleep. Both nap and nighttime are so easy for mom and dad. Recently he's tried to sneak a few more toys into his crib for naptime by throwing them up over the bars on his way into the room when he knows we're going in to go to sleep, and it cracks us up.
• He very recently got into cartoons and movies. First it was Toy Story (which he still loves), then he really got into Tangled (he loved to sing along with the ruffians at the bar, 'dreeeammm, dreeeaaaammm'). His big favorite for the last month was Rio. He would ask for Rio almost first thing in the morning and he knew the songs and would sing out 'Riiiiiii-oh' during the movie, and then lots of times just for fun in the grocery store or restaurants. Recently he's included Kung Fu Panda which he got for Christmas into his favorites - he asks for 'Po'.
• Charlie loves to laugh, when other people are laughing (in real life or on TV) he just likes to join in with this real loud, joyful, but totally fake laugh.
• Everything is 'woah' when he gets it. New toys, food, etc. It makes mommy feel good when she puts his food in front of him, because he seems so impressed.
• Lately Charlie got into fettuccine alfredo, but he's hit and miss with all food. A pretty constant 'like' though is fruit. In the last two-three days he's probably eaten 200 blueberries.

We had an 'Art' themed birthday party for Charlie as he's so into it right now. We had the kids paint canvases, and even had a multimedia art project across our walls (I let that happen because I have a bunch of dings in that wall that have to be painted anyway, haha.

Even our treats and snacks were art. Fruit and veggies and dips and cheese and crackers in every color of the rainbow. I didn't take a picture of the cupcakes, but I had these little crayola crayon picks, and I decorated it to look like a scribble from the crayon. Got the idea on Pinterest and it was really cute, but I'm not really the greatest at like piping and decorating.

Charlie absolutely loved all the birthday presents he received. He screamed and yelled and said 'Wow!!!' Then he would dance around and laugh and run back to the present.

We did jelly bean art as a party favor. The kids could take a little jar and fill it with the rainbow of colored jelly beans how they wanted.

Many thanks to everyone who came. It was so fun for us parents to watch Charlie (and really at this age, let's face it, that's what it's mostly about!). At the end, like any year, we were thoroughly tired and just wanted to sit and put our feet up, and we did!